Pandasmom's Blog

living with PANDAS, not the furry ones…

Parenting with Grace November 18, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — pandasmom @ 6:43 pm

This week has been about acceptance.  I think that John and I have come to accept the fact that we have become the parents of a special needs child.  I highly doubt it is ever easy to learn that your child has special needs. But I also wonder if a layer of difficulty has been added because for 3.75 years we assumed we were parenting a typical child.  The level of difficulty we face is neither here nor there, it is just a fact.  But I believe it is good that we are coming to acceptance rather than trying to change this fact. 

What we are having a very difficult time doing is parenting A with grace.  In the few minutes that things are hunky dory we are the most graceful parents you will ever see.  But for the other 23 1/2 hours of the day there isn’t a lot of grace in this house.  I am certainly not trying to win any parenting contest with my skills as a mother.  But what I would like to do is provide a happy home life for my girls and my husband.  I feel that if we could just accept our situation and handle it all with a smile we could provide this environment.  However, it is hard to manage that when you are constantly getting hit or screamed at, grunted at etc.  It is hard to remember that your child is acting this way because she is sick and she is not doing it purposefully.  Anyone else in our situation who has mastered this, please leave me a tip!

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One Response to “Parenting with Grace”

  1. Debbie T. Says:

    I most certainly have not mastered it, but wanted to tell you that you are not alone! My six-year-old can send me into a complete tizzy where I actually start believing in that moment that he is pinching me, screaming at me, clenching his jaw in anger at me, because he hates me and is trying to hurt me. Sometimes it is hard to distinguish between your child and their disability because they are YOUR child and this is what you know as ‘normal.’ Don’t know if that makes any sense. I feel like when I talk about my son I can formulate the words that describe a child with severe special needs, but when I’m talking TO my son, I am talking to the child I still want to believe he is or at least one day can be.

    I’ll shut up now 🙂


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